This fear must go away 

The last two weeks have been heavy. Tough. Draining. Uninteresting. And not to mention too engrossed for my liking. I hate it that I’ve been trying to get a hang of being around new people all the time while deep down it’s killing me. My social skills must have gone on a holiday this year 😂. This will sound wacky but these days, my heart beats really fast and fear of the unknown suddenly grips me anytime I come in contact with new people or when I’m around  many people. 
The thought of leaving my hideaway at dawn, while the rest of the world still sleeps excited me at first but since routine and I and not so good friends, nowadays I struggle to go out without giving in to the urge of remaining back and reading a book or two. On some days the urge is too heavy that I feign allergic reactions and stay indoors for a better part of the day (Done this twice for the period I’ve been here). Pray the boss doesn’t read this cause I’ll be fired next time I fail to show up at work. 

I miss my normal. You know that life I lead when home or in school (brew coffee for ten, I actually drink all of this alone😂😂, bring on board my weekly reads and stay in bed all day reading, drinking coffee and listening to music?) My mom and I fight over this ‘bad’ habit of mine often  but we all know you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. 

Okay now, up to this point I still do not know what I’m writing about. I beg your pardon. This is one of those silly posts I should be threading on twitter but since the app is down on my side I’ll just do it here. See, as I went to the woods earlier in the morning, I got the inspiration to pen something really nice for you guys about Gilgil before I return to Kisumu. 

Unfortunately, I forgot to carry my notepad and pen (didn’t carry my bag today) so I rushed back to the country house but as soon as I got in all the ideas disappeared into thin air. I will soon write about it though and y’all will like it because this place is amazing with equally beautiful things to write about. 

Back to my ramblings, I really hope I will learn how to be free around new people (any YouTube tutorials? 😂) before the month ends or rather before I start my internship. I can’t imagine walking into an office and not knowing what to do cause I can’t stand new faces. Isn’t that death in disguise? Or being summoned by the HR but since the social skills can’t cooperate I only remain with the option of whispering silent prayers to my guardian angel to let words come out of my mouth. 😂😂😂

I don’t want that day to come. This fear must go away. 

Thank you for keeping up with this inane post to the end. I love you! 

Till next time, Bless! 💕


4 thoughts on “This fear must go away 

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