My name is Jessica mitaya, 4th year student at Maseno university. High self esteem is something l wish could be within me at that time when l was in highschool. I was shy and always quiet because l had a problem with my speech. They always called me a stammerer, it’s not something I wanted to accept but it got worse when I allowed myself to believe stammering was my identity. I avoided so many platforms in high school that demanded me to talk. That’s why I ignored to join poetry groups and debates. There is no such bad thing as avoiding to talk, because somehow those who didn’t know me always had a different view of me. You could See Me always active in basketball, l was there because l wanted to fight back the bitterness l had inside and at least for everyone to cheer me up and celebrate me in the field. That didn’t help, and I thought to myself why is God punishing me this much. Within myself though, l had this self drive determination that I was going to make it, regardless of the time.
I then came up with a word ‘si’. It was a word l could use to start my conversation in order for me to start talking, unfortunately in the middle of the conversation l could stammer until I give up on talking and keep quiet. God had a plan for me though the timing was mysterious. I cleared high school and I joined campus. It was a great event in my life. My parents bought me a smart phone, I wasn’t quite happy because I was worried if how I would communicate yet l stammer badly.
It wasn’t easy during my first year, then I started participating in Co curriculum activities which didn’t help much and I left. During long holidays l decided to hustle and do sales and marketing jobs, the first day was hard and l gained courage and my stammering wasn’t that much, l thought to myself maybe it’s because l was suffering inside being silent, but the more I talked to people the more my stammering became minimal. God opened doors for me when I was in 3rd year. l participated in a competition for being a brand ambassador of an educational company called My Career Identity. I won and got platforms that demand I talk to a crowd of students often. I remember one scenario in Kisumu Girls’ when l was addressing one thousand students, l’d rush back stage and make a prayer saying “l can do all things through Christ who strengthens me “.
Today l have been to so many high schools and motivated over 15,000 students on career choices and life issues, thanks to the CEO of My Career Identity. This year I went to YouTube and watched how someone can stop being a stammerer but l saw that I was forcing myself so much. So l accepted the way I am and in my free time l sing motivation songs just like Johnson mwakazi. I now understand stammering is not a curse or a disability it can be managed by accepting yourself and having confidence in oneself. My best own quote as I always say;
“Moses was a stammer and he was a great leader, don’t look down upon yourself “