I am a very keen and cautious person. My interests are drawn to the little things that people overlook. Picture those things an ordinary person brushes off as a ‘by the way’, they mean a lot me. I’m told I make a mountain out of an ant hill. Also, I don’t go with the present, whatever people do/find interesting at the moment is most likely to get the least of my time and attention.
So when my peers were dating in high school, I wasn’t. I felt like I needed to observe first, learn the ropes and eventually play my cards right, you know. I never wanted to act as an example in an event my relationship flopped.
Time passed by and I started getting interested in men. I’d have that weird feeling in my stomach that later came to find out y’all call “butterflies”. But I was in Form Four (Grade 12) and a candidate waiting to sit the final high school exams. I decided to brush off the relationship thingy for a bit and concentrate on clearing school.
I felt I was ready after highschool and immediately enrolled for a pre-campus program by Life Ministries called Bridge. It was majorly a stepping stone to campus. As I said earlier, I am a little cautious and I just had to attend a class before coming to campus. Anyway, that aside Bridge program had sessions on dating called dating rights that entailed the do’s and don’t’s of dating. Slowly I started cancelling people till I was left with one. That one person. The one that had woed me for the longest time and passed the test.
Things were all good the for the first four months until a storm rocked our ocean of love and on the rocks we landed. But I held on saying it was just phase we’d overcome. Little did I know this was the beginning of my journey into depression.
One day I got a call from some lady who then added me to a WhatsApp group that had three other girls that all claimed to be dating the same guy I was dating. I was broken to say the least. Clearly, it was time to let go and fix myself.
I sank into depression for six months after the breakup. I would be admitted in the hospital every fortnightly for two months.
On the third month I started recovering and for the record only went to the hospital once that month and was admitted for a week before going back to school.
Later my ex-boyfriend would come out to explain himself and why we got ourselves in the situation we were in. He’d duped me. All this relationship thing was a bet. He was to date me for four months and win cash or whatever it was. And sadly, that happened.
I had given my all to that relationship and coming to realize that it was a joke was really painful. This revelation worsened my situation and made it even more difficult for me. I mean, who toys with someone’s feelings all in the name of money? I was taken back to the hospital again. My doctor was so good and referred me to his significant other who was a therapist.
The therapy sessions eventually led me to recovery but all these relationship hullabaloo affected me. I never wanted to date someone ever again, all the plans I had outlined for my life were falling apart right in my face, I regretted giving all my love to the wrong relationship, the wrong person.
Being social and extremely outgoing, I found the most suitable distraction. It’s actually all I needed. I started dancing to Afro-latin tunes. It made me busy, I found something else to do aside from reading books. Over the weekends I’d go for social dances. I got heavily involved that I was given a position in the committee without vying. From the socials I obviously interacted and socialized with the other dancers and even made new friends.
I can say I like the path that my life is taking now. I obviously couldn’t help but draft another plan for my life. With counseling from my pastor, supportive parents and friends, I’m in a happy place.